LET’S DROWN OUT THE BAD VOICES (REVISED)
Saturday Dec 1st, 2012
If you were brought here by Jezebel or xoJane or any other great website - hello! This isn’t the original post however. I deleted that. Not because I was ashamed of it but because things have changed a bit and I want to, as my friend Todd Glass would say, “have Iron-clad, clarity.”
The internet, especially Twitter, is a fun place to play and promote and talk to your friends. Women on Twitter (and other social media websites) tend to get a lot of shit. And no, not just from “trolls.” This is about men not being educated enough in this “post women’s movement world.” I constantly joked around online with my hilarious and cool male friends but was often told by internet onlookers to “get a room” or many times have been accused of not being a real comedian myself (despite my comedy album that hit the billboard charts, my tour, my TV appearances and more) and have been called more a “friend of male comedians.” This shit is specific. It’s not just “some guy in his mom’s basement.” It’s not just someone trying to get a reaction. I’m not going to argue it further. It’s a girl thing. A woman thing. A thing we know IN OUR GUT. “Oh, this isn’t heckling. This is gender specific and our male friends have male privilege and they simply don’t ‘get’ it.” They simply don’t receive what we do and sometimes they don’t understand that it is different than the “trolls” who tell them they aren’t funny. But this isn’t even about comedy….
This is about the internet. And no, I’m not leaving the internet to let anyone win. I needed to quiet my mind and take a day off from getting hatred. Sometimes I would get sad when I was batting away dozens of hate-filled things while in my timeline my male comedian friends were just joking along having fun - as we all should be. And I felt like I was alone on the playground and I wanted them to speak up for me. Not “beat up” the specific people attacking me for pointing out that the US is allied with Saudi Arabia, a place that violently oppresses women (“shut up, jen, you’re a bummer, go back to being hot or maybe funny for once in your life”) but I wanted my male comedian friends to write, in public, about things they have expressed to me in private about how much they feel for the women in their life who are still spoken to this way. And how shocked they are at the beliefs that were held by men who should know better, in America, in 2012. After all, many men have been so eloquent in speaking up against homophobia, racism and why everyone should vote for Barack Obama. I figured they could stay aligned with their liberal views and do a little writing to make some anonymous women out there feel heard. And it’s happening!!
That’s why I created MA’AM - MEN AGAINST ASSHOLES AND MISOGYNY and it’s going really well. I have dozens of submissions waiting to go up and about 30 on the site now. Men are writing articles about how they see the women in their life get treated and how THEY feel about being in a society that lets it happen. So many girls are writing me to thank me - they love reading about all of these men who think this way. They would not have otherwise known.
What I don’t want are essays about ME or how women are funny. No. No. This isn’t about that. This is about women in all industries being shouted down and I want more voices to shout for the good “guys” and louder.
I have unfortunately noticed some of my dear friends who have offered their advice over DM telling me that I didn’t need this site - to just ignore trolls. I am trying, trying to get my friends to understand it and maybe they won’t. I know men and women communicate different and I sure found that out when one friend thought that maybe I was insinuating he doesn’t do enough as a person for women. It’s really simple. I just want as many guys as possible who have an opinion about how they see women treated in culture whether it’s an observation about the news or speaking up about how they feel when their wife comes home and tells him about an instance of gender discrimination.
This has NOT and never will be a site about defending me or women in comedy. It’s breaking my heart that I am seeing my @ replies on Twitter and it’s a lot of people saying, “Defend yourself, honey. Men can’t do it.” Sometimes I just sit and cry and think, the more I speak out the more hatred I get. I hate it. I never asked anyone to defend ME. Why is it so hard for people to get that this is a blog about women being treated as equals written by men.
Anyway for the rest of you - take a look. It’s wonderful and has proven to be cathartic for many men too! I have learned a lot reading everyone’s words.
I LOVE MEN WHO ARE AGAINST ASSHOLES & MISOGYNY.
Hope you can take part!! It’s not about me or you - it’s about helping our society not cave in on it’s own ignorance.
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