1. FAQ - WHEN ARE YOU COMING TO? FINAL ANSWER. (WITH LOVE)

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    When are you coming to San Francisco (for example) you ask? Well, first of all. Thank you for asking.  That means you would like to pay to see me do comedy which has been my dream job since I was a kid.  Unfortunately, just because you just found out about me - doesn’t mean that I have never been to San Francisco (for example.)

    So, the best thing to do is check my website.  I paid someone money to make it for me and I would love to get some use out of it.

    Click here: JENKIRKMAN.COM/TOUR-DATES

    That’s where you can see every single show I am doing in 2014 coming up (and have done in 2013 and 2014)

    I won’t tour the same city twice (as a headliner) in one year because I don’t repeat my hour of material on the road. Since I don’t tour full time (yet) due to having a full-time television writing job, I can only hit the road about 20-25 weekends a year - leaving me many, many cities to continue to hit who haven’t seen my current hour.

    If you check my site and see that I came to San Francisco (for example) already this year - please know that I won’t be back until I’ve written a new hour and I’m in the process of that and it’s going to be more than a year.

    But you will know! You will know without having to ask me. That’s why I set up this handy website JENKIRKMAN.COM/TOUR-DATES 

    So that you can find out even at three am at your leisure and I don’t have to spend my time answering the same Twitter questions over and over.

    I even have an email LIST! You can sign up for it! I send it out every Friday. CLICK HERE TO JOIN

    This email list tells you where I am coming before dates are even finalized and before tickets go on sale.  This and my website are where to get that exclusive information.

    If you don’t see San Francisco (for example) in either of these places, it means that it’s not in the works.

    Now. This is the part where someone is going to think I’m sounding bitchy.  But I’m just letting you guys know what’s up. I have very good agents and I’ve been a comic for 16 years.  I know most of the comedy clubs and theatres and rock clubs and cool spaces to perform in America.  I know all of the major and minor cities in America. I have NO prejudice.  I am not afraid to come to any state.  I don’t hate the south or the Mid-west, in fact I perform in those areas a lot.  If I haven’t been to your town it has to do with schedule conflicts, lack of a fan base in certain areas (so far) and the fact that I don’t tour full time (yet.)

    I know you just want an answer to your question “When are you coming to….” but just know, my gentle flower, that the answer already exists. In those nifty places I showed you above. And sometimes there isn’t an answer - which is also….an answer.

    AND on my weekly podcast “I Seem Fun” - I start every episode by talking about where I’m coming and sometimes I even let you in on my secret thoughts of where I want to go that year before it’s even in the process of being booked.

    Again, comedians are sensitive little souls or at least I am and I get very tired answering the same question over again  on Twitter (I don’t want to ignore questions and I’d rather spend my time on Twitter writing jokes) or having people ask me where I’m going to be when I make it so easy to find out (I haven’t even mentioned all my Tweeting, my Facebook fan page, Instagram).

    I love you all.  Thank you for wanting to come see me. You are giving me a career and I can’t wait to see more and more of you all.

    Oh! PS. EVERY show I do I do a quick meet and greet where I will sign whatever you bring, take pictures and some shows have books or tee-shirts for sale. Always. I always make time.

    Love,
    Jen

  2. witsradio:

    NEW SHOWS COMING UP!

    We are so excited to announce 4 new shows at the Fitzgerald Theater in St. Paul!

    We will be joined by our good friends paulftompkins and mikeeaglestinks, Wait Wait … Don’t Tell Me host Peter Sagal, as well as some exciting and talented first-time guests, including Bob MouldjenkirkmanKumail Nanjiani, thevaleriejune and harikondabolu. Join us for some laughs, some great music, and maybe a Murder Cat or two.

    May 31 - Peter Sagal and Paul F. Tompkins with Open Mike Eagle

    June 6 - Jen Kirkman with Bob Mould

    June 20 - Kumail Nanjiani with Valerie June

    June 27 - Hari Kondabolu with Will Sheff

    SO EXCITED TO BE PART OF THIS

  3. Hello world! Happy Earth Day. In honor of Earth Day - I have a book coming out in paperback (no it’s not made from recycled paper - stop judging me)

    My New York Times Bestseller “I Can Barely Take Care of Myself” is already available in hardcover, audio and Kindle versions.  But today is the PAPERBACK RELEASE!

    And you can purchase it at any of these fine places. TODAY.

    AMAZON.COM

    BARNES AND NOBLE.COM

    ITUNES

    GOOGLE PLAY

    INDIE BOUND (SHOP LOCAL)

  4. AUSTIN! I came to perform stand-up for you guys last year and ALL of you were podcast fans of mine and promised if I ever taped a live one in Austin - you would come. So I am coming. Please, spread the word. This Saturday night - April 19th at the North Door. Tickets only $14 and on sale now. And I’ll be selling the first ever “I Seem Fun” tee-shirts. You’ll see how awesome they are.

    http://transmissionevents.queueapp.com/events/1993

  5. atmidnightcc:

    Miss the hand-holding thrill of last night’s games? We’ve got the whole episode online here!

    YOU GUYS IT WAS A THRILL!!!! Watch it all online

  6. meltdowncomics:

    FOUND! Comedy Meltdown 4x6 ft. poster from leap year day 2008. Check out the line up. Chris Hardwick, Jen Kirkman, Andy Daily, Mike Phirman. Hosting: @jonahray (sponsored by #ASAHI beer.) #FILEUNDERRAD (at Meltdown Comics & Collectibles)

    THIS IS LIKE FINDING ONE MILLION DOLLARS

  7. I Like It Anyway: Jen Kirkman and Millionaire Matchmaker

    thehiggsweldon:

    By James Austin Johnson

    With I LIKE IT ANYWAY, James Austin Johnson interviews a fellow comedian to discuss an activity or artifact that they loveso long as it’s uncool, unbecoming, or otherwise unacceptable.

    Everybody was making out with each other for years by the time I realized that if…

    I did this interview about my favorite topics - Millionaire Matchmaker and the bizarre concept of first dates and expectations.

  8. Don’t Ever Read Emails You Wrote at Age 25

    When my nana passed away a few years ago – my immediate and extended family promptly ransacked her house for goodies. I found a drawer – in her really ornate 1970′s side table – a bunch of “Jen Kirkman” memorabilia…horribly embarassing headshots, newspaper clippings of me on a pony in my childhood and various emails that I had sent my mom, who apparantly printed them and shared with nana.

    One such email that I wrote in 2000 caused me to cringe so much I had to be removed from my floor by the jaws of life. My injuries are minor except I have a slight film of douche-bag on me that I’m not sure can be removed anytime soon.

    I had a job in the year 2000 that was pretty sweet. I was hired to travel the country in a van but sleep in nice hotels and eat in nice restaurants when not driving in said van. I was with a few producers and other writers. We ate oysters and drank cocktails on Miami Beach, staged a parade in New Orleans and ended up spending 2 weeks in all parts of California, from podunk military towns that wouldn’t let us go to their karaoke nights – to a wild week on the Sunset Strip.

    What the hell kind of job is this? It was one of those internet start-up companies. Our bosses, who were not wrong – just too early, knew that the next phase of the internet was watching video. I thought that was absurd since I had a crap laptop and it took so long to download email, I just called people. But I realized that these guys were millionaires for a reason and I was not…for a reason.

    We had a web-TV show that was like Road Rules meets The Real World. We pulled stunts and pranks around America while revealing our personal selves and interactions with each other via short web videos and blogs – before they were called blogs.

    Obviously, my bosses were right. People do this shit now. But they didn’t then. And after our first round of investments, no one else would sink their money into us and we were all let go over a case of beer one Friday afternoon. I had trouble understanding. When were we let go? Right now? Like, right this second? But, I thought you guys had millions? Oh, you personally do but can’t bankrupt yourselves on a business model that is ahead of it’s time? Should I have been paying attention to all of the news coming out of Wall Street, considering I worked…at a dot-com, on fucking Wall Street????

    So, week one of this job – we were all flying high. Promises were being made and smarter people were hoping the promises were real but knowing how business works. I didn’t know how anything worked. So I wrote this email to my mom…(I included only the most cringe parts, which is most of it.) Oh, and the email is titled, “For Those Who Doubt…”

    “Hey, well, it turns out the two 27 year olds who run the company are worth three HUNDRED million, not thirty million as previously thought. They are extremely well-known in the web world so their connections are helping out our press. We are pretty sure we are going to get written up (I don’t know if it will be an article or a blurb) in Time Magazine.

    For our trip we are getting equipped with cell-phones, laptop computers and a little device, which I guess is a mini laptop but it’s as small as a phone and you can type on it – from even a mountaintop! The GAP is totally going to sponsor us, so we will get free clothes.

    Also, it looks pretty good that a better website or even a TV “network” on the web will buy us, which would mean a lot of $$$ for us, as in retiring early. It’s business stuff that I’m not too sure about except that it will mean BIGGER paychecks.

    I am not in any way saying this will become a hit web and TV show but this is all about connections, if the show fails we have made definite TV connections so we are totally safe.  I am writing this so you can tell your friends when they say, “Well…I never heard of it.”

    If this company were to fail, it would be nearly impossible and only due to a literal disaster like an earthquake or flood…or something else that I don’t even know what. It’s as solid as anything else.

    Love, Jen”

    (CRINGE!!!!!!!!!! - Jen 2014)

  9. PEOPLE OF LOS ANGELES!

    My Largo Podcast taping has been cancelled. I repeat. This Monday April 7th, 2014 there will be NO LIVE podcast taping of “I Seem Fun”.

    Do NOT be sad.  I am doing another show (a stand-up/talk show) on Wednesday June 11th with such a special guest - I’m freaking out and you will too.  It’s going to be epic.  I just can’t announce her name just yet.

    Ticket holders for Monday April 7th’s show will be honored on the Wednesday June 11th show if you can make it. If you can’t - you can get a refund. Just contact Largo. http://www.largo-la.com/location-contact/

    I apologize for this but there were many technical difficulties. June 11th is going to be AMAZING. And some of it might be taped and played on a podcast anyway - so it’s even better.

    And just WAIT until you find out who my double-bill is with!

    Love,

    Jen

  10. AUSTIN

    NORTH CAROLINA

    NASHVILLE

    ALL TICKETS ON SALE NOW!