Spring Kinda Sucks, Right?
Spring Kinda Sucks (Now)
I lived in NYC on 9/11/2001. Monumental.
I also lived in NYC (and still do) on 1/29/25. Not as monumental. But still historic. I’ll explain.
I never go to Central Park. I live in Brooklyn. I’ve got Prospect Park. (It’s better. For real. The architect of Central Park was like, “I did okay, I guess. But I can do better.” And he did. With Prospect Park.)
Last Saturday, I went to see an invited dress rehearsal (bragging) of Just In Time. (It’s truly wonderful.) My friend and I were walking back to the subway, and he suggested we just take a quick lap around the edge of Central Park because it’s so nice out.
We’ve been inside all day! It’s the first nice day of the year! Everyone in NYC is outside!
We walked around. I was sweating. It was HOT! 80 degrees! After about half an hour, we decided that we had our fill of the park - and all of the people.
We headed our separate ways. On my many block walk to the subway, I started to shiver. I was freezing. It was freezing. I stopped walking. I had to be very still in order to try to understand what I was feeling. Was I cold from the inside or the outside? Was it suddenly very cold? Was I having a reverse hot flash? My teeth were chattering. I assumed I was just dying. That’s what dying people do, right? They get very cold when it’s 80 degrees outside.
I looked around. Other people looked cold, too. I heard lots of “fucks” and “shits” as people passed by me, crossing their arms for warmth. Okay, so my body wasn’t shutting down. Was the sun evaporating?
The sun was not evaporating. I was experiencing another historic moment on the streets of New York City. The Day The Temperature Dropped 26 Degrees In One Hour.
I LIVED TO TELL!
It was harsh, abrupt, and very rude of the weather to behave that way. It’s just one of the reasons why I hate spring. We need to be hibernating until the end of April. I’m tired of the premature evacuations.
Please take a moment to enjoy that amazing pun.
I still have not recovered from Daylight Saving Time, March 2025. First of all, was it two entire weeks earlier than usual? It felt like it. Second of all, I DIDN'T KNOW that it was DST until 2pm on Sunday. I woke up on Sunday at 7am. But it was really 8am. I had shit to do. I needed every hour. I use an old-school alarm clock, with two bells on top and everything. I keep it in the living room, and I wake up by running out of bed to shut it the fuck up because I’m afraid that my neighbor can hear this ringing cacophony through the wall. After shutting off the alarm, it was off to make the coffee in my Smeg drip filter, standing near the stove and microwave. All three of these appliances AGREED WITH ME that it was 7am.
I took a shower. The analog clock in my bathroom also agreed with me, the coffee maker, the stove, and the microwave. The time is 7:30am. A few hours later, I answered a text and noticed my iPhone display. 11AM. I thought it was 10am. I shook it off. I am time blind. I have ADHD. I put my phone back down and kept doing the shit that I had to do.
A while later, I went to reheat my coffee in the microwave. The microwave display read 11:30 a.m. “Huh, only a half hour has gone by? Wow. I’ve never experienced time going by so slowly when I need it to. Cool!” And then at 1:45 p.m., when my microwave told me that it was time to leave for my Pilates class, I picked up my iPhone to take with me, and read the display: 2:45PM. FUCK. It finally hit me. DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME! (Shakes fist!)
My stupid phone was right. And all of my appliances and analog clocks, and I were wrong. I lost one hour of my very important day of getting shit done. And for what? So that the sun can set an hour later? I AM NOT READY FOR IT TO SET AN HOUR LATER. WE WERE STILL TWO WEEKS AWAY FROM THE SPRING SOLSTICE. What do I need an extra hour of daylight for? It’s still cold outside. This transition into spring felt VERY ABRUPT. Can’t we lose the one hour incrementally? What about five minutes at a time for a few weeks?
I don’t have seasonal depression in the winter. I don’t mind that it gets dark early. It’s only for a few months, and winter is not what it used to be. As we’re becoming extinct from our own doing (and not-doing), gone are the days where I craved spring after being buried under feet of snow in the winter. I haven’t had to wear snow boots since 2019. I used to NEED spring when I was younger. That SMELL. That FEELING of the air being different in the nostrils. I’m not talking about the smell of flowers, or cut grass—no, just the air had a scent. I love the four seasons (and not just the hotel chain! #LOL) but the transition from winter to spring is BRUTAL. I will not recover from that lost hour until…maybe July.
I have to endure the same old same-old small talk. “Isn’t it great it’s not going to be dark so early?” WHY. TELL ME WHY WE NEED THIS HOUR IN MARCH. And don’t tell me you need it because you’re a farmer or a parent. If we just let the Earth turn and stopped messing with time, sometime in mid-late April, the sun would set an hour later. What’s the rush?
ARRRGH. I’m all mad because IT IS STILL LIGHT OUT AS I TYPE THIS, and I am ready for my nighttime candles.
Sigh.
So, I’m being overly dramatic here in an attempt to be mildly funny. We all have our things. This is my thing. I kind of think that spring might just objectively suck.
Here are three reasons why spring sucks based on my lived experience:
Easter and all of the Catholic masses that lead up to it. Long. The stage (altar) stripped bare. The parishioners read out loud, in unison, “acting” out the parts where the Romans crucified Jesus. “Crucify him! Crucify him!” I always felt like everyone got a little too into it. Like they really did want to kill Jesus—maybe so they wouldn’t have to go to church anymore. Ironically, that is why we have to go to church. But anyway, it gave me a January 6th vibe, decades in advance.
Kurt Cobain was found on April 8th. He died on the 5th.
Puddles
Look at this thing that I saw on Instagram:
I didn’t know this! See? All people (men) do is change dates, times, and clocks. Enough! Just let it BE. God, how GREAT would it be if the new year started in April? That I can get with. I’m starting to come alive, I’m making plans for the year. I’m dreaming. I’m scheming. Ready to crack open a day planner, but not quite ready to wear jelly shoes and skorts.
Right now, I’m spending a lot of time indoors (because it’s rainy and cold—aka spring) journaling, writing notes, and making lists.
I’m obsessed with this brand, Appointed—and I get my name monogrammed on my notebooks and pads. If you click this link I am dropping, you can get 15% off or use code JENKIRKMAN at checkout.
Okay, I gotta grab a Le Pen and write a gratitude list. Life is wonderful. That’s why I get so mad to lose an hour of it, even when I know that I’ll get it back in the fall.
Are you anything like me? Do you hate spring? What are you doing about it? Tell me: info@jenkirkman.com