Jen talks about the very real psychological issue of feeling like an imposter despite our accomplishments. While this can happen to neurotypicals as well, especially in a career context, ADHD humans walk around feeling this way consistently. We can feel like a secret failure at just LIFE itself, and since having ADHD erodes self-trust, we also feel like imposters if we don’t seem “ADHD or AuDHD enough”.

Jen talks about how ADHD humans can withdraw from friendships due to our “out of sight, out of mind” brains despite loving our friends and gives advice on how we can maintain our friendships.

Jen talks about the pros and cons of hyperfocus. Pro: In a hyperfocus we are working at our optimal ability. Con: Too much hyperfocus and we’re neglecting our basic needs and the needs of people in our lives. Also, Jen talks about why she thinks that “flow” and “hyperfocus” are two different states of being.

Jen talks about how being an ADHD Human comes with a lot of misunderstandings, from neurotypicals not understanding that ADHD traits aren’t moral failings, to not being able to understand ourselves after being labeled as “lazy” or “rude” for so long, and how ADHD itself is misunderstood even by the people who have this neuro-developmental disorder.

Jen talks about the concept that ADHD Humans have an “Interest Based Nervous System” as opposed to Neurotypicals who have an “Importance Based Nervous System.” Basically, ADHD Humans are not motivated by the fact that they know that something is important to them or someone else, but they are motivated by their interest in a project or task, the novelty of it all, whether it’s a challenge or creates a competitive feeling and a sense of urgency. ADHD Humans have to figure out their own road map for their brains when they have to make something interesting that they’re not interested in.

Jen answers a listener's email about a philosophical crisis of self. Is our personality, our interests, our attitudes and sense of self just ADHD? How can we tell the difference?

Jen answers two listener emails about how to stop with the negative self-talk after failing to complete tasks and feeling overwhelmed, and how (and if) to tell a new boss that you have Rejection Sensitivity and might need future feedback to be more gentle.

Jen talks about the word “procrastivity” and why ADHD humans love to do every task other than what they set out to work on. And the problem of not even being able to get started due to what’s known as “front end perfectionism” where the entire day goes by and we’ve spent it preparing to do our tasks or work - not by actually preparing anything related, but by “organizing” our space, and “getting ready to get ready. There will be some helpful tips in this episode about how to actually begin your project without procrastivity or perfectionism.

Jen talks about the ADHD Human tendency to overshare by saying “inappropriate” things to people, not knowing we are talking too much or stopping, info dumping on someone, spilling other people’s secrets, saying too much about ourselves even if we didn’t mean to, or over-explaining ourselves and then the subsequent shame hangover after we realize that we overshared. Jen shares tips on how to not overshare in various social situations and how to accept and prep; we are lovable, warm people who will overshare again but we can prep for that inevitability.

Jen tells a personal story about her latest attempt to get her ADHD medication prescription filled during this medication shortage and in a timely manner before she had to travel out of the country for work. This attempt included going to a pharmacy miles away and having to show a travel itinerary to prove that she wasn’t lying about needing her medication by a certain date, and refused to fill the prescription in advance for pick-up, instead telling Jen that she needed to get there soon to beat the other ADHD customers who were having their prescriptions filled. You won’t believe this one!

Jen talks about how middle-aged women are being diagnosed with ADHD in higher numbers due to their diagnosis being missed as children. And Jen talks about not realizing that she had ADHD as a child until she read Sari Solden’s book that explains that girls go unnoticed and undiagnosed because their symptoms may not present as hyper-active or inattentive - leading them to become women who are confused and ashamed about why they’re not fulfilling everyone’s expectations - until they get diagnosed and “unmask”.

Jen talks about a scientific study published in early 2024 that found that early humans with ADHD-like tendencies (impulsivity, an urge for risk-taking, and an inability to stay still for too long) are a big reason why our species not only survived but developed certain levels of survival intelligence. In hunter-gatherer societies, ADHD brains flourished and evolved as opposed to the modern world where having ADHD is seen as a disadvantage. Jen also talks about the Survivor contestant who was voted off because of her ADHD.

Jen talks about the complex and interesting history of ADHD. The symptoms were recognized as a condition since the 1800s but were seen as a moral failing in children, it was then recognized as a physiological brain problem in children in the 1900s, stimulant medications began to be used as a treatment in the 1960s but by the 1970s there was a backlash, and in the 1990s many organizations and clinicians refused to validate that the emerging diagnosis of adult ADHD even existed.

Jen talks about how there is so much more to time management than actually completing to-do lists, or finding the perfect productivity method. Instead, Jen talks about how when we think we are trying to make a schedule, we may be unconsciously trying to master time itself, which can’t be done. And that deep at the heart of trying to get to ‘inbox zero’ before tackling what actually matters to us, is just a fear of failure and an existential angst about our finite amount of time in life.

Jen talks about how the DSM (The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders) is failing people with ADHD because the diagnosis criteria are incomplete. The DSM-5 overemphasizes mythologized symptoms and doesn’t list emotional regulation issues that are at the core of executive dysfunction. This can prevent people with ADHD from being diagnosed and getting the treatment that they need to function in a neurotypical world.

Jen talks about the very real ways that estrogen levels affect ADHD positively and negatively due to the relationship between Estrogen and our executive functions during a menstrual cycle, pregnancy, post-partum depression, peri-menopause, and menopause.

Jen helps everyone get their facts straight about ADHD and debunks the “alternative facts” that are out there such as ADHD is not a real medical issue, everyone has ADHD, ADHD is overdiagnosed, and taking ADHD medication is dangerous, and addictive.

Jen talks about the similarities on the surface between Narcissistic Personality Disorder and ADHD but breaks down the major differences between the neurological developmental disorder (ADHD) and the personality disorder (NPD).

Jen talks about the little known flip-side of Rejection Sensitivity known as Recognition Response Euphoria (RRE) coined by Dr. Ned Hallowell. RRE is a euphoric and motivating feeling experienced by an ADHD-er who has been praised or encouraged - and how this is an important part of combating despair and maintaining resilience as a neurodivergent in a neurotypical world.

Jen talks about Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria. RSD affects 98% people with ADHD and is an intense emotional response caused by the perception that we’ve disappointed others in our life and will now be rejected, abandoned, unloved as a consequence. Jen talks about how RSD feels in her body and reads lots of comments from her listeners about they experience RSD. This episode will help you feel less alone!