Did anyone ever tell you that being a PEOPLE PLEASER is a core trait in ADHD/AuDHD Humans? In this episode, I’ll tell you all about it. Spoiler Alert: It has to do with our coping mechanisms that we developed early on in order to avoid rejection and seeking validation from others due to our feelings of inadequacy because of our (especially undiagnosed) ADHD/AuDHD.

ADHD/AuDHD humans often struggle with boundaries—whether it's setting them with others or even recognizing our own internal limits. We might not realize a boundary needs to be set until it's already been crossed, leaving us overwhelmed, resentful, and frustrated.

In response to last week’s episode about reasons why ADHD/AuDHD Humans sometimes have a bigger chance of being drawn into cults, MLM’s and other sketchy setups - there is an equal and opposite argument that people with ADHD/AuDHD are actually MORE EQUIPPED to spot scams and avoid getting sucked into cults and sketchy situations.

Did you know that ADHD/AuDHD Humans have a bigger chance of being drawn into cults, MLM’s and other sketchy setups? I explain why we are targets (hint: our impulsivity, need for community, and outsider feelings) and talk about how to spot red flags.

Jen breaks down the ins and outs of PDA; Pathological Demand Avoidance or Pervasive Drive for Autonomy. She chats about why even the simplest requests can feel like too much and how people with PDA handle those constant demands. Jen looks at the behaviors, challenges, and some ways to work on keeping a sense of autonomy even when triggered.

Did you know that people with ADHD/AuDHD are vulnerable to ending up in toxic relationships (of all kinds)? You are not broken and neither is your “picker”. There is science behind this. It’s due to our issues with communication, impulsivity, low self-esteem, and that old need for dopamine! This episode may make you feel sane and help your confusion as to how you got here - especially if you don’t have any “big T” trauma in your upbringing.

This episode is only available to Patreon members.

Jen talks about the other side of masking which is unmasking! She explains how we can safely and consciously choose to un-mask, the risks for some of unmasking, and how we may find ourselves unconsciously unmasking as people around us say things like, “You’re acting more ADHD/Autistic ever since your diagnosis.” But it’s not an act. It’s our authentic selves coming through.

Jen talks about the exhausting art of masking with ADHD and/or AuDHD. She explores why so many of us feel the need to mask (both consciously and unconsciously), what the very real consequences of masking are, and when it benefits those of us with ADHD.

This episode is only available to Patreon members.

Did you know that people with ADHD/AuDHD are vulnerable to ending up in toxic relationships (of all kinds)? You are not broken and neither is your “picker”. There is science behind this. It’s due to our issues with communication, impulsivity, low self-esteem, and that old need for dopamine! This episode may make you feel sane and help your confusion as to how you got here - especially if you don’t have any “big T” trauma in your upbringing.

This episode is only available to Patreon members.

Jen explores the concept of Justice Sensitivity in people with ADHD and AuDHD. She explains why fairness and injustice can feel so intense for neurodivergent individuals and how these strong reactions shape everyday experiences and influence relationships, work, and personal well-being.

Jen talks about where she’s been, and what’s going on with the podcast after her new AuDHD diagnosis. Stay tuned!

Jen talks about the very real psychological issue of feeling like an imposter despite our accomplishments. While this can happen to neurotypicals as well, especially in a career context, ADHD humans walk around feeling this way consistently. We can feel like a secret failure at just LIFE itself, and since having ADHD erodes self-trust, we also feel like imposters if we don’t seem “ADHD or AuDHD enough”.

Jen talks about how ADHD humans can withdraw from friendships due to our “out of sight, out of mind” brains despite loving our friends and gives advice on how we can maintain our friendships.

Jen talks about the pros and cons of hyperfocus. Pro: In a hyperfocus we are working at our optimal ability. Con: Too much hyperfocus and we’re neglecting our basic needs and the needs of people in our lives. Also, Jen talks about why she thinks that “flow” and “hyperfocus” are two different states of being.

Jen talks about how being an ADHD Human comes with a lot of misunderstandings, from neurotypicals not understanding that ADHD traits aren’t moral failings, to not being able to understand ourselves after being labeled as “lazy” or “rude” for so long, and how ADHD itself is misunderstood even by the people who have this neuro-developmental disorder.

Jen talks about the concept that ADHD Humans have an “Interest Based Nervous System” as opposed to Neurotypicals who have an “Importance Based Nervous System.” Basically, ADHD Humans are not motivated by the fact that they know that something is important to them or someone else, but they are motivated by their interest in a project or task, the novelty of it all, whether it’s a challenge or creates a competitive feeling and a sense of urgency. ADHD Humans have to figure out their own road map for their brains when they have to make something interesting that they’re not interested in.

Jen answers a listener's email about a philosophical crisis of self. Is our personality, our interests, our attitudes and sense of self just ADHD? How can we tell the difference?

Jen answers two listener emails about how to stop with the negative self-talk after failing to complete tasks and feeling overwhelmed, and how (and if) to tell a new boss that you have Rejection Sensitivity and might need future feedback to be more gentle.

Jen talks about the word “procrastivity” and why ADHD humans love to do every task other than what they set out to work on. And the problem of not even being able to get started due to what’s known as “front end perfectionism” where the entire day goes by and we’ve spent it preparing to do our tasks or work - not by actually preparing anything related, but by “organizing” our space, and “getting ready to get ready. There will be some helpful tips in this episode about how to actually begin your project without procrastivity or perfectionism.

Jen talks about how after just assuming that the “right” thing to do for ADHD is keeping her phone in FOCUS mode, leaving all notifications and alerts off - that she realized living that way is more overwhelming than allowing bleeps, bloops and on-screen banners to remind her of what she needs to get done.